1-When he was five years old, he wanted to become a lawyer. Now that he is a lawyer, he acts like a five-years old.

2-Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. That's enough bout me. How about you?

3-If I were to make a dictionary: CUTE=you; SWEET=you; THOUGHTFUL=you; GOOD LOOKING=you; GORGEOUS=you; LIAR=me!

4-I'm afraid to die not because it will hurt or I don't know what will happen, but because I might be waiting for you in Heaven and be disappointed.

5-I looked at the sky. The sky is beautiful. I looked at you. I looked at the sky again.

6-You think I'm nice, I think you're nice. You think I'm kind, I think you're kind. You think I can be trusted, I think you can. You think I'm cute, and I think you're right.

Q: What part of your body works out Math questions?
A: Your Add' em's apple!
Q: What bug is welcome in apartments?
A: Ten-ants.
Q: What is the biggest ant in the world?
A: An eleph-ant.
Q: How do you make a skunk stop smelling?
A: Pinch it's nose closed.
Q: Why do Hummingbirds hum?
A: They've never learned the words!
Q: What animal needs oil?
A: The mouse, because it squeaks.

Pillsbury Doughboy Dead at 71
It is with the saddest heart I pass on the following. Please join me in remembering a great icon. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a servere yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Long-time friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was never considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, even still he was a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end, it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he had reached his expiration date. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

BAD NEWS!!
A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news." "Oh dear, what's the bad news?" asks the elderly patient. The doctor replies, "You only have 24 hours to live." "That's terrible," said the old man. "How can the news possibly be worse?" The doctor replies, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

... ....ok.ok..So someone must have something actually FUNNY to contribute!~

How can you recognize your baby in the hospital, among the others ?
All of them made a poof, only yours soiled itself.

What is yellow, red, blue, and it's weight is one tone ?
Two parrots, and each of them have 500 kilograms.

Wow those were really funny.

1) hell yeah.. agreed.... !!

2) you described me too.....

3) when are you making one.? i mean. don't worry i won't go up to the letter ''L''

4) don't worry dear. i'll bribe the god of hell.. and will cum bck to you..

5) huhh.. what do you mean. am i not even worth a look.!

6) and i think i am awesome.. and you too said right ''i am always right''

lol... nice forum lulu....

Really funny...

can't get enough of this... I love you desktop nexus!!